I hate feeling helpless. I hate that feeling. That and hope. Hope and helplessness are just two sides of the same coin really. Actually hope is a result of helplessness. Because I feel helpless and am devoid of any action I feel hope. And while hope may look very flowery and beautiful and yada yada yada, deep down I know it’s a myth.
Whenever you feel something that you describe as hope, you never completely feel hopeful. There’s always a part of you that is screaming, “Hope? What hope? Don’t get your hopes up. It’s all a big lie.” I know I sound cynical and jaded even as I write this but there is a certain degree of truth in it. I think people don’t even feel hope anymore. They probably never did. They desire hope or they hope for hope but they don’t really feel hope.